iLost My Mind
by doxengirl
Summary: Freddie blinked twice as Sam pulled away from the kiss that she had just forced upon him.  In shock pierced his lips and struggled to find the words to respond to the action that Sam Puckett, his tormentor, had just inflicted upon him.  But luckily for


**Author's Note- I'm back! ILMM has renewed my faith in iCarly. For a while I was just so down on the show I could not find the heart to post. Not that the show was not funny and great, but only when Dan puts some romance in the show does it really take life. It's no longer an SNL skit- it's a real living breathing show. The characters become people not characters. And iOMG and the promo for ILMM is enough for me to write again. So my newest project- below- is an attempt to hold over you iCarly fans until the real ILMM. It is my "speculation" as to what will occur. Everything that is in the promo is here... just filling in the gaps. Then I promise I will get back to BLACK WHITE AND GREY. I need to go back and edit all of my stuff. God my writing was horrible. Enjoy!**

_Disclaimer- I do NOT own iCarly. That is Dan Schnieder or DanWarp. And I won't say that I wish I did own iCarly, 'cuz Dan is the writer who writes all of our favorite SEDDIE EPISODES._

Freddie blinked twice as Sam pulled away from the kiss that she had just forced upon him. In shock pierced his lips and struggled to find the words to respond to the action that Sam Puckett, his tormentor, had just inflicted upon him. But luckily for him Sam responded before he needed to perform higher brain function, which, at the moment, was proving quite difficult to a bewildered Freddie Benson.

Sam said softly and with a blank expression, "Sorry…"

Still fumbling for his words and with his lips still somewhat perked out he replied, "S'cool…"

Sam wiggled in her shoes and swayed back and forth. The moment was so heavy in the air of awkward that a gas seemed to have enveloped both teens. Finally Sam spoke up, "Yup." At the end of the word she popped her "p" to exaggerate the current awkward state of the situation. Freddie, however, was completely removed from the situation. His mind was reeling with confused thoughts over the feisty blonde in front of him. He would be lying if he said that he never thought that way of Sam. She was a beautiful girl and he was a teenage boy- the thoughts had entered his mind. But they were just that, thoughts. In no other time had he ever truly considered it because he just thought she was pretty… Carly was pretty too… hell, a lot of girls were pretty. That didn't mean that he felt anything for any of them. But this kiss had him baffled. How could he have missed the whole thing? Sam liked him, no, loved him and all he could see was an admiration for Brad. He was such a nub.

Once Freddie finally found the words he began to speak up, "Listen Sam… what was that-?" But before he could finish Sam was running out the door. By the time his brain had processed that she was gone Freddie was already too behind to catch up with Sam. He knew that no security system could hold Sam in place for the night. The lock-down may keep them inside, but if there was a way Sam Puckett was already half-way out the door by now. So all Freddie did was stumble over to the step that Sam had been sitting on and fall into a sitting position with a shocked look still on his face.

Slowly Freddie heard the door creak open and he looked up expectantly, "Sam?" But his eyes met brown ones and he smiled softly, "Oh… hey Carly."

She walked over to him and sat down beside him. She put both of her hands in her lap and began to fumble with her fingers. After several moments of silence Carly spoke up, "So what was that?"

Freddie looked down in his lap with a slit blush gracing his face, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That kiss." She responded bluntly.

"Oh yeah, that kiss," Freddie blushed and started to rub his one arm bashfully, "I, uh, don't really have an answer for you Carly. Honestly, I wish I did. She just kind of left with no explanation."

"Yeah I know. I saw that."

Freddie looked up embarrassed, "You were spying!"

"How else would I know that you two kissed?"

"Right, sorry, just a little… confused."

After another several moments of silence Carly continued, "Do you like her or something?"

"Huh?" Freddie looked up, "I don't know. I mean I've never really thought about it. She was always picking on me. I never even… it just never crossed my mind. This isn't some kind of romantic movie. One kiss doesn't mean I love her. But I need to talk to her, that much I know."

Again silence. Until Carly spoke up, "Could you like her?"

Quietly Freddie said , "I don't know. Maybe."

"School tomorrow?" Carly asked rhetorically.

"School tomorrow." Freddie affirmed.

* * *

><p>Freddie walked back into Ridgeway after a long night of the lock-down. Being that he and Carly's conversation took place early Sunday morning Freddie had to wait until Monday to speak to Sam. Just as his suspicions had affirmed that night, Sam had bailed on the two after the kiss at the lock-down. Once Freddie and Carly had emerged out of the Courtyard they had found no trace of Sam. She had fled Ridgeway and the two did not see her for the rest of Sunday.<p>

But today was Monday and Freddie was ready for some answers. On his way to his locker Brad popped by and smiled. In a second Freddie had a tube of fudge in his face, "Fudge?" Brad offered.

"Um… no?" Freddie replied, "Thanks anyway though Brad."

Brad put away his fudge and nodded, "S'cool."

Freddie did a double take and stuttered, "What-what did you say?"

Casually Brad responded, "I said, s'cool."

"Oh right," Freddie replied bashfully, "Well you did great during the lock-down."

"Thanks," Brad said, "By the way, where did Sam go after that whole barn incident?"

"Barn incident? Oh you mean Carly and my attempt to get you two… yeah, she had to go home. Speaking of Sam, have you seen her?"

"No," Brad shook his head, "But listen for screams of terror by small children and Sam is sure to follow."

Freddie laughed and replied, "Thanks Brad. See you later?"

"You knows it."

Then Freddie headed straight toward Sam and Carly's lockers. There, at her locker, was Carly Shay putting away some of her books. Then she pulled a pair of hedge clippers out of her purse. Freddie walked up to her as she was putting them in her locker and said, "Spencer?"

"Yeah… he's doing this new sculpture with gardening tools. We had an incident this morning. We needed them out of the house."

"Is the goldfish okay-?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Carly said cut him off, "The fire department gave a warning to Spencer that he was reaching his capacity for the year."

"Ah, I see."

"Yeah… so have you seen Sam?" Carly asked.

Freddie blinked, "I was just about to ask you that question."

"I haven't seen her all day."

"Me either. I usually always see her in the mornings collecting her beef jerky from the meat cart every morning. She wasn't there either."

Carly rasied her eyebrows, "Sam loves dirty meat from the Greek guy on the corner."

"I know, it struck me as odd too. And he was wearing his hat."

"The usual one?"

"'Course."

"Hmm. Well I don't know. Maybe she's sick?"

"Or avoiding us…" Freddie reasoned.

"Or maybe just you?" Carly whispered.

Freddie looked up at her a little hurt, but before he could say more the bell rang and the two were off to start their days. For the duration of the day any class either had with Sam had an empty seat where an angry blonde would usually occupy a seat. Finally at the end of the day the two iCarly members returned to the Shay apartment without a fellow blonde by their side. Upon entering the Shay apartment, Spencer was sitting on a lawnmower with green-rimmed glasses and a bottle of milk in his hand.

"How goes it?" Spencer asked.

"Hey Spence," Carly replied.

"Hola." Freddie replied.

"Where is the third hello?" Spencer inquired.

"Sam was MIA in school today," Carly answered opening the refrigerator and grabbing a can of Peppy Cola.

"Did you call her parole officer to ask where she might be?" Spencer asked.

"No, didn't think of that. I'm sure she's fine though." Carly responded. "Not like anyone can hurt Sam."

"Maybe we should just check in," Freddie answered a little to anxiously handing Carly the phone.

"Okay…" Carly replied keeping her eye on Freddie. Dialing a familiar number Carly spoke to Sam's parole officer for several minutes. All Freddie could hear from the conversation were numerous "uh-huhs" and "yeahs". By the end Freddie was ready to gap his eye shut with a pencil. Lobotomy did not seem so bad to the lack of information he was getting from Carly. Once she hung up the phone Freddie looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" Freddie poked her side.

"She's at Troubled Waters."

"The Insane Asylum, I mean mental hospital?" Spencer offered.

"No the circus! Of course the hospital!" Carly returned.

"I'm gonna go and see her," Freddie surmised picking up his light coat.

Carly grabbed his arm and said nicely, "She checked herself in. Give her some alone time Freddie. Who knows? All of the crazy people don't have a record. They may be good for her."

"Bye Carly, bye Spencer!" Freddie said as he wriggled out of Carly's grasp and into the hallway to Troubled Waters.

In the distance Freddie could hear the brief shout of Spencer yelling, "Get me a stray jacket! Always wanted to wrestle in one of those things."

* * *

><p>When Freddie arrived at the hospital he walked through the front doors and approached the main desk. With the sweetest smile he could muster Freddie asked the secretary, "Ma'am do you know where I could find a Samantha Puckett?"<p>

The lady looked up into him with bored eyes and replied monotone, "Do you have a relation to Ms. Puckett?"

"Yeah, I'm her best friend."

"Sorry," the lady said uninterested, "Only family members and significant others are allowed to see the patients."

Freddie blurted out before he could stop himself, "I'm her boyfriend!"

The lady looked Freddie up and down a few times before sighing, "Fine. She's on floor three, room twelve. Enjoy your visit, sir."

Once she let him through Freddie ran up the stairs, forgetting all about the elevators in his rush, and reached the third floor in moments. Throwing open the door to the hallway Freddie looked from door to door for her number. Finally landing upon twelve he looked in the window and saw Sam on her bed fiddling with her fingers. Freddie panicked and reached for the door. When he could not open it a security guard approached him with a key and said, "Girlfriend, sir?"

"Um, yeah."

"She bit me." With that the man opened the door.

"Yeah, she does that." Then softly Freddie opened the door and entered Sam's room. She showed no signs of having seen Freddie enter. Standing in the corner of the room Freddie approached Sam slowly. Then he spoke up, "Hey there stranger."

"Fredward?" Sam sputtered shocked turning around to see him in the corner, "How did you…?"

"Parole officer."

"Right." She looked back down into her lap and started to play with the food on her plate.

He took a step forward at her and said, "Can we talk about the kiss?"

All she did was look up at him with sad eyes. He could feel, for some odd reason, his heartache at the look she was giving him.

He pressed forward and sat beside her, "Look Sam, I know that this is hard, but I need to understand. You need to talk about it. What happened back there?"

She swallowed hard and replied, "I don't know."

Freddie put his hand on her arm, "No, you do know. Please, just talk to me. This involves me too."

Sam pulled her arm away from his touch, "I don't know what you're talking about Freddison."

He put his hand on her shoulder and she turned away from him and said, "That kiss. Why did you do it?"

She turned around slowly and looked him dead in the eye, "I like you. Freddie. But I like fighting with you and hurting you and at the end of the day you still being there as my friend. The kiss, anything beyond that kiss will just spoil everything. Can we just forget about it? The doctors here got themselves a degree to cure Mamma of all crazy thoughts. This will help me. Promise."

"You liking me is not a disease. It's not something that you should be ashamed of, because maybe I like you too."

She looked up shocked, "You-you do?"

He shrugged his shoulders and blushed, "Maybe, I don't know. I mean, if you stay here… we're never gonna find out, huh?"

"You wanna find out?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah… I think I do." Freddie smiled.

**Author's Note- We like? Well then review, comment, let's go! The more I get, the more drive I have to post a new chapter. Come on, save a kidney... post :)**

**By the way, I thought I'd just expand really fast on who else really renewed my faith in the whole SEDDIE NATION. There is a story on fanfiction called iShakespeare, if you have not read it stop here and go and find it. The story is brilliant and I just love it so much. I hadn't been on fanfiction in so long and my friend sent me the story. Singularly the story brought we back to writing for you all. SEDDIE POWER! Although no fighting over Seddie and Creddie. What will happen will happen. Besides... we always have reruns :)**


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